I am not good at picking up women. period.

I dream of hundreds of ways in which I might win her heart; almost all of which require some sort of event that will more than likely never happen. In the unlikely event that chance will take pity upon me and the two of us shall be thrust upon fertile soils where love may bloom, I know exactly what I will say. Every word,  accent and utterance that comes forth from my lips shall create new bonds between us and I shall transcend this platonic love.

But alas, fate greets me not like an old friend but rather with the manner of a particularly disgruntled parent. I am made to stand upon my own two feet left to my own lackluster wit. Leaning forward, my hand lightly brushes the back of her arm. To extinguish the curiosity that has risen upon her face I simply smile and ask for a ballpoint pen.

I now feel as if I have jumped off the side of a very tall bridge.

ETA of the lion king: 3 minutes.

Sleepless nights for me.

I dream only of your face.

Yet you sleep soundly.

Geyarghh give it time Kieran.

You know I'm sad when I have to put on my pirate voice to cheer myself up.

I do not think I have ever felt so horrible in my entire life.

I'm about 90% sure that the girl I am currently trying to win the affections of is keen on my best friend.

Suck much? Fuck yeah.

Long time no speak, eh blog?

I'm sorry, I've just had a lot going on lately.

Well not a lot as in various amounts of activity; it's really just the monotony of my schoolwork that has kept me from posting.

I've also had some serious writers block; especially in relation to my current english assignment.  It's horrible and any effort at trying to write just leaves me feeling drained and stupid.

Maybe it has something to do with this horrible girl related infatuation I have. Oh my this one is very special; but I am getting a lot of mixed messages from her, which is extremely frustrating.

Au revoir.

We don't mean that much.

I hate it; there's always that anxiety that you have when you try to interpret signs. Are they saying these things to me because they're flirting and genuinely like me, or do they say this to every guy they talk to?  

I'm reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstein for english. It's tough going. I mean don't get me wrong it's a great novel and all, but boy I'm pretty sure there's a good reason most authors don't spend whole pages describing breezes in a letter. I like the whole monster-more-human-than-the-creator thing that's going on. It's still the most long winded short story I've ever read though.

I'd make some comments on philosophy about here, but I'm all philosophised out. For Music Extension I'm doing an essay on expression of emotion through music (as well as the subsequent understanding of that emotion/s). It's all in the field of musical philosophy; which i didn't even know existed, but it does. But yes the more I read about the matter the more musical philosophy makes sense. There are many questions concerning it when you get down to it. I've had to read some Tolstoy on the matter actually, which reminded me of the IT crowd (in an obscure way). God I love that show.

But yeah, I'm theorizing about associationism and wether our comprehension of musical emotion is innate or acquired later in life through experience and cultural influence. I'll post it once I've finished it, as long as someone reminds me.

...Should be finished in about six weeks, maybe five if I'm organized.

Schoolies

God, I never really saw what was so interesting about schoolies. I mean it's just drinking for a week right? Wrong.

I've only recently realised that this is probably the last time that I will be with my friends for a long time. The last time we'll really be our complete group. 

Growing up sucks, I just want to stay young and not have to worry about higher education and pressure and stress and bills and budgets. Why can't i just go push a tire around the yard with a stick until I grow old and die? That'd be sweet.

And also:

I like a girl, a pretty girl who's smart and pretty and oh so pretty. She's a good friend and I feel oh so taken to her. Here's hoping that the feeling's mutual.

Posting again

I am posting again. 

I should be asleep, but right now this is about the only time I have to do things that I want to do.

Why is it that every effort I make must feel so extremely insignificant? It's probably just because I'm very tired, but I feel as if nothing I do really matters; as if I could go out and try my very hardest to try and change just one freaking thing and I'd get nothing out of it.

I guess this is that teenage angst everyone's been talking about.

Oh well I'm off now to read more about Frankenstein and his hideous monster.

Au revoir et a bientot, belle madames.